Tuesday, October 16, 2012

finding joy: happy in the midst of motherhood


It was a frustrating day - one of those days that didn't end up going like the plan at all. In fact, it was one of those days where the entire day was eaten up doing things not on the schedule. I had been running errands, returning things, driving, and ended up arriving home frustrated and tired. And of course, in my tired state, I wander in the house, a house that's not exactly how I would want it to be, and I blurt out I am so not happy about this mess to a family who was just happy to see me arrive home.

I could see the kids scurry away.

What happened to it's so good to see you all??Instead, I let my frustration over some books, toys, and dishes sitting out cloud my idea of happiness - and it wasn't even that terrible. I just crowded that out with my agendas of cleaning and to-do lists and having everything perfect.

Being a mom takes work and patience and allowing yourself to feel happy and joy in the midst of chaos. That is hard. It's hard because no matter how much you try to control things - with the color coded charts, cleaning routines, neat rooms, daily schedules - chances are the plan won't work perfectly. And, in fact, in reality most days won't function ideally and you'll end up blurting out something you really don't mean {like I did}. The toddler will throw a tantrum, the kids forgot their bags, there is nothing to make for lunch, milk was spilled - four times, the five year old didn't listen, ?the shower you wanted to take at nine didn't happen and it's now three, you have so much laundry that you truly have the title to Mount Washmore, and someone just called last minute and said they're stopping over -- and will be walking into a living room that might look like a mini explosion or science experiment.

That robs at happy - especially if you're looking for the rare smooth day as the barometer for happy in the midst of motherhood. But, that stuff is also draining. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Sometimes those little things, the spills, whines, yells, and everyday motherhood must deal with it now moments chip away at our energy little by little by little. Don't let it steal at your motherhood joy. At happy.


So today, today I'm encouraging you to embrace today - even in the messes, struggles, great moments, and ordinary everyday stuff. I want you to open your eyes to the good, the blessings, even in the midst of all the rest. A toddler's smile. Kids playing together. The sun filtering through the window. A full loaf of bread. Peanut butter in the jar. Books to read. Friends to call. The gift of those children. That your shoulder is the one they want to put their head on when they are tired.

You see, once again, you matter. Those words I wrote on Thursday last week are the truth. You, right now, sitting where you are reading these words that I typed out while sitting on my couch early in the morning, matter. You matter even if your house isn't perfect, or you have had pbjs all week long, and you have those moments of overwhelm that leaves you wondering what happened to happy and joy? That stuff? That happens. What matters is that you keep going, keep trying, keep learning, keep loving.


I know you can do it today.

My wish for you? For a day filled with happy motherhood moments in the midst of the everyday.

*****
Oh yes, make sure to go back and apologize if you blurt out those phrases like I did yesterday - gather them, tell them you love them more than the mess, and then say you're sorry. That matters just as much - those moments spent telling them they matter more.

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Source: http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/10/happy-in-midst-of-motherhood.html

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